—To Nature’s SelectTM Brand Pet Food
O boundless men, of salmon and of vegetable,
your wares are Samoyed smiles with coats that glow.
I’ll purchase in bulk, if I am able.
Lamb and rice goodies were once a fable
in the world of breeding dogs for show.
Sing praises to boundless men, of salmon and of vegetable!
Shelties of black, tri-color, and sable,
the cuddliest pups that your bitches can throw.
I’ll buy the whole litter, if I am able.
“Ninety percent lean,” if one can believe the label.
Who can match prices this low
besides boundless men? Salmon and vegetable
waste products are guaranteed biodegradable.
(Shit becomes compost, as everyone knows!)
I’ll buy it wholesale, if I am able.
Wet noses and tail wags are invaluable.
What recompense can an owner bestow?
O boundless men, of salmon and of vegetable,
I’ll buy out your stock, if I am able.
— Mike Berteaux
Mike Berteaux is a 28-year-old Japanese-Mexican-Anglo-American. He studied English and editing at Brigham Young University and worked on the staff of his school’s award-winning creative writing journal, Inscape. His poems have been published in Clearfield Review and The Missing Slate. He writes best after midnight, but works best after a full night’s sleep.
