PREAMBLE
Scotland’s FIFA World Cup record is every bit as dire as a William McGonagall couplet. As the doyen of doggerel might have put it: “They’ve been knocked out in the first round eight times/ Most recently in the year before ‘99”. So far, Scotland’s Poetry World Cup record is rather better, with a 100% win rate. Rumours that ‘none of woman born’ can eliminate Scotland remain unsubstantiated, and may well be proved wrong in today’s game against Russia, England’s conquerors in round one.
MEET THE POETS
Ryan Van Winkle comes from Connecticut, but has been based in Edinburgh for over a decade and represents Scotland in our world cup. He is currently Poet-in-Residence at Edinburgh City Libraries, and he records a weekly podcast for the Scottish Poetry Library. The Glasgow Review has described his poetry as being “at the forefront of a shift to something new, it is on the way to a perfection of some new movement.”
Russia are represented by Valery Petrovskiy, an international writer best-known for his publications in English. His work has appeared in Canada, India, Ireland, the UK, Australia and the US, and includes an ebook, ‘Into the Blue on New Year’s Eve’ (Hammer and Anvil Books, 2013) and a short story collection, ‘Tomcat Tale’ (Editura StudIS, 2013). He lives in a remote village by the Volga River.
FORM GUIDE
Scotland were ahead all the way in a relatively low-scoring first round match against Denmark, eventually winning by nine votes. Russia made sure that England’s poem went out at the same stage as England’s football team, winning by ten. After spending a fortnight doing absolutely nothing other than the cephalopodic equivalent of sitting on the fence, the Poetry World Cup octopus has now been replaced by Seamus Shaheeny, the Poetry World Cup camel. Ahead of the Scotland-Russia match, Seamus has eaten both flags and turned in an elegant and elegiac sonnet about potatoes, dedicated to Patrick Kavanagh. Frankly, your guess is as good as mine.
               
If you are reading this
I hope you are going slow,
that the gulls have clasped
their constant beaks. If
the roads are icy, test
the brakes when you are alone
see if you slide. Leave
the fools and cowboys
to their wreckage
wait…
~ Ryan Van Winkle
What she was thinking over I wonder
Ever well-dressed elderly Kapr-Tarry
Always on a bench in front of her house
One with faded sidings
Its color a dried bread crust
I liked to melt in my mouth
What she was then pondering over
Wearing national black sackman
In front of her front garden
When she trained us to count…
~ Valery Petrovskiy
RESULT: Scotland won by 8 votes
